So, first off im gonna explain some things that was wrong with me last year. Last year, i always had late blogs, i came to work late, sometimes i dont even show up, my grades were low, like C's D's & F's. I dont know, last year i was just that student who didnt really care about leadership. I didn't help out as much last year too. I always brought drama into leadership and i was just way out of it. Last year, i was more of someone who was just looking for the fun. Not realizing what leadership was trying to teach me, and how much Mr.Ing TRIED helping me. Im pretty sure i was okay during the first quarter but when second quarter started thats when everything started dropping, Mr.Ing started losing trust in me i guess, he didnt talk to me, not much people talked to me in leadership most of the time when this happened, one day we had a meeting for the people who could try fixing their problems but as the stupid person i am i decided "eh whatever " so i didnt go, and ooooo gurl, when lunc ended my group leader Errlyn had a talk and gahh, it was just the worst. I had my cubby taken away, and before that my desk and chair got taken away. I had my own table in the front of the class where i couldnt really get to talk with anyone, i always just left out. While everyone is working, i cant because my vest was taken away, while everyone got to participate in activites i couldnt because i basically wasnt a leadership student, i was just part of that class.
This year was a total upgrade(x im the opposite of everything i am this year. This year, i have on time blogs, most of the time i come to work early, my grades are good as in only A's & B's. I care about leadership alot more than last year, i've been more of a help, i like to volunteer to help alot actually, i barely bring in drama into leadership and now i take leadership more serious than last year! Im really surprised of the change i've made from last year to now, knowing that ive been accepted into leadership for another chance was the best feeling and i just knew i couldnt screw that up, i think one thing keeping me up was when me and mr ing had a meeting and we were talking about how if he accepts me the least thing he wouldnt want to say is that he regrets accepting me. And i dont want him to regret accepting me. Thats probably one thing boosting me up. because of how i changed i think Mr.Ing is growing some trust on me, the first time i realized he trusted me was when he told me i get be in charge of an even coming soon that im very excited for.
I honestly dont know what made me change to the way i am. I guess its just knowing i have a second chance i dont want to ruin anything for me, i dont wannt blow up this chance lol. It's really hard to explain because i dont myself why i even changed yeno.
I joined Leadership again because i wasnt satisfied with what happened last year, i mean i just needed to fix something. And leadership is something that is helping me stay on track, like the pressure of keeping up your grades. I wanted another chance to prove to myself and the others that i dont give up that easy, i wanted to prove to myself that i could finish this program. Because last year, one of my weakness was giving up easily, im gonna admit i still give it to this day but i find myself trying again anyway, i hate the feeling of giving up. If i hadnt joined leadership, i wouldve felt guilty walking around campus knowing i gave up on this class, i dont want to be reminded that way. Im glad i had the opportunity be in this class, because its to the people who couldnt get a chance to even be in leadership. Same as to others if youre reading this, dont take leadership for granted, youre lucky to be chosen to get into this class when someone couldve been glad to take your spot, be grateful(x anywayyyy, looking back at last year was a disaster and i never wanna be in that position again, it was the worst feeling and i just hope i could stay on top of this. Like my grades and the relationship built with everyone in the class especially Mr.Ing because this is nothing compared to last year. Gahh, i tried my best to explain. Atleast i tried.
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