10.22-10.26

Lesson Learned ~ Dont ever make a decison when youre emotinal ~

Last week i made a stupid decision . Because at that moment i wasnt thinking & i was rreally frustrated and upset with what i put myself into . So i was stupid enough to run away from the problem i had on me and just stop .Stop everything . I basically gave up .. im usually that kind of person who hates giving up  because i like to be very competitive & i always hated giving up, but this was different i dont know why . i guess it was just the feelings i had .

So Friday Morning, we had a meeting about having late blogs, so there was about 8 of us , 4 from Period 4 , 2 From period 2 & 2 from Period 6 . We had another meeting during recess, in that meeting Mr.Ing talked about thinking of a consequence for us & come back during Lunch to talk about it . & guess whl didnt go ? Me . i totally forgoot all about it & i know, if i really cared about it .. then i wouldve remembered but when everyone in A101 was looking at me outside , thats when i remembered but thinking that i knew i was gonna be in trouble , i didnt go . & then thats when i got frustrated of it . So, knowing i was in big trouble, at the end of Lunch i found my chair outside . One of the group leaders were yelling at me , telling me to sit down  . but i didnt really understand , so i kept asking questions but thats when she blew up & i just sat down . the two  group  leaders left & they left me with Errlyn , we talked about why i didnt come during the meeting, about me being in Leaderdship, etc. Errlyn asked me " do you have anything to tell me? " before we were about end the talk . i told her " i wanna quit " & when she asked me why, i told her because i felt like i didnt belong in Leadership anymore . & after that , Korey, Macky & Errlyn gave me everything i had in my cubby & i also returned my vest to Errlyn . Since she took my vest & gave back my things from my cubby , & took off the name plate on my chair .. i automatically thought i was out . I kept thinking about during my last period . i kept telling myself " what did i put myself into? or Why did i do this? " & stuff like that . then when i cooled down , i was stupid to quit & i knew i shouldnt have because i knew things couldve gotten better in time . i ended my night overthinking, & feeling guilty and shame of myself .. then i got a message on facebook by Mr,Ing he was talking about what i out myself into & why i did & how i can get back up to become a leader again , etc he told me, in order to become a leader i have to start all the way from the bottom again & i guess no i have to regain my trust in him too .

I learned to not give up because the begginning is always gonna be the hardest . im trying to learn how to be brave in my own mistakes, i go by the quote " never give up on something you held on for so long " do you know what that means ? it means , instead of looking at how far the " finish line " is , you gotta look at how far youve made it . lols you get it ? because people usually tend to give up when they gotten soooo far ! im at this position right now , im usuallly not like this . im more of a competitive person .. well yeah . bye bloggers .