So, this week started off pretty baad . On Monday morning, when i first got to school ... i went into A101 & just sat in front of Mr.Ing waiting for him to talk to me about my consequences . But as i kept waiting i got kinda impatient, so i asked Mr.Ing, " Mr.Ing, can you tell me what my consequences are? " & he didnt tell me because he was busy, but i still sat there for the rest of the moorning & i came back for recess too . Then during Lunch, to go to A1012 & stay in there . So the group Leaders & me sat around Mr.Ings desk, explaing EVERYTHING that happened from last week . When we finished they asked me to give myself a consequence , so this gave me alot of time to think about cause i was trying to think of a consequence i would like so that i can learn, Obviously... so after i gave about 4 or 5 consequences it was a no . so i thought of " Losing some of my priveleges " for example, i cant use computers, my electronics & stuff like that . now that was a yes, but instead of losing SOME of my priveleges , i lost ALL . & that means, i cant work, i cant use a vest, i cant use anyones chair, i cant eat in there, i dont even have a cubby & i cant use anything in A101. i cant go on the computers to take my AR test, & if i try going to the library or any other class to take it, it will just get erased . Also, whenever my group is working, i have to read a book ALWAYS.
The beggining of losing EVERYTHING
This whole weekend went by kinda quick, so i guess losing my priveleges did kinda help. but top of it all i felt like i was invisible, cause i wasnt fit in . i was always reading in the corner reading while the rest of the students were laughing, welllll i was laughing in my head whenever something funny happenedd but yeno' .. lolk . uhm . ISA was pretty saad, i really wanted to work ISA because it was worth 100 Points of my grade ! bleeeh, 100 POINTS ! i already have an A in this class so im probably gonna drop that grade -.- POOOOOOOP
Today was pretty bad too, during Period 6 we had a meeting AGAIN & during that meeting everyone talked to me & said eveything about how they felt about me & anything they wanted to . What everyone said didnt really hurt me, but when Laila went .. i bursted out in tears becaause shes my bestfriend & i couldnt imagine her telling me some of the things she said , so she left her " saying " short . but yeah , Errlyn left the room & while she left they all asked me questions & stuff, when Errlyn came back she asked me even more questions .. she asked me " Are you happy? , is your mom happy? , are you happy with your stepdad?, do you think your mom is happy with your stepdad? " & guess what ? that last question got me crying a river -.- and by that time, i was crying while making that ugly noise when you cry hard . im not gonna say why its that last question that hit me becuase i know im not suppose to say anything that happpens in my house & " drama " but yeah . i think whats stopping me the most from being a better person i should be is the people im surrounded with , i get influnced pretty easily . & what i hear from others .. later on starts coming out of my mouth too . so i get influenced REALLY REALLY REALLY easy . i cant help it doe . uhhm, then after i tried to stop crying(x errlyn asked me who i think " dosent like me " in my group period , im not gonna name them but Errlyn asked everyone to leave besides those 2 people . & while they were talking inside ... me & laila were outside the room & laila tried helping me out and we tried talking it out together .. because yeno' thats what bestfriends do ;3 what me & laila talked about made me cry even more bevcause we both had that heart to heart moment , & when Errlyn came out of the room she said " did you hear what we were saying " & so that automatically made me think they were saying somehting bad -.- well i think going to my other classess got my mind off things . so i guesss that okaay . UHM, well at this moment im having those fights with my guy bestfriend </3 ugggh, dont you guys hate having fights with your bestfriend ? Whaaaaale, stay tuned bloggers ... i guess .
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