....

Ive kept this blog as a draft for so long, mainly because i keep changing it up and I'm always thinking if anyone still goes on blogger just to look back at how things used to be, and how much things have changed. I do.. Its kind of weird because i left this class on bad terms with a lot of people so if anyone is reading this, you're probably shocked that I'm even still on this site. So far I've only seen the 2 main people make blogs on here, maybe its because of the bond we all had. I pass through Ilima every single day, so of course memories always cross my mind, and all i could think about is how much i miss Leadership, and the memories i made in that class. Im not gonna lie, it was so stressful but Mr.Ing always reminds the class that Relationships are important in the class. Its true, i remember what kind of relationship i had with the small group i was always with in that class. Honestly loved how things were between us 4. I know i left on bad terms and it was the worst timing too, but i don't know what i was really feeling that month, the way i felt about the class and relationships i had in that class, i think it really affected me when the whole class had a problem with what kind of relationship i had with Mr.Ing, Korey and Laila. I really don't know how to explain what happened when i left, but  i really do wish it didn't have to end the way it did. Ever since i left that class, i always thought of finding a way to explain myself to everyone. I don't even know what I'm saying tbh, i don't even think anyone is gonna read this but its okay, i just needed to talk. Im not gonna lie, the last 2 weeks i was out of leadership was fun, i had a lot of freedom. But then i realized how much i NEEDED to be in that class, how much it kept me in check, kept me out of trouble, gave me responsibilities.. learning to be a LEADER. Even though i wasn't a leader for any of the periods, i felt like one, i had a lot of responsibilities in that class, and even though i complained a lot about doing things all the time, i started to miss it so much! I think i played more of a leader role than my own group leaders. Im not gonna talk about what made me leave, i just wanted to thank the person who molded me into becoming the way i am now. I mean, I'm not good.. i still need to improve a lot. But without leadership, if i didn't come back to leadership for my 8th grade year i don't think i wouldn't have got Honor Roll my 1st quarter of 8th grade year, i think i would've been in a lot of drama, i would've been in the office all the time, maybe my grades would've been worse. I apologize for leaving the way i did, but I'm so glad i was given another chance to be in that class. I learned to be more independent, and the lessons I've learned in that class is starting to help me now. The first time i started to feel important in the class was when i was in charge of ISA. Its kind of a small thing, but i looked at it as a big thing! Like cmon now, being in charge of an event is pretty cool, thats when i knew it was a good time to show Mr.Ing i really changed from how i was in my 7th grade year. I remember he made a blog about the changes he seen in our class, one of his paragraphs was about me. How he seen the whole 360 change in me, and I'm gonna assume that he dosent think that way anymore after the way i left, but I'm still here. I still feel like a leader, out of all my friends I'm the only one who can confidently say that i could control what we do in that group. I don't want it to sound bad, but i make the decisions, when things go wrong i end up fixing it, etc. When i get into problems, i do what i used to do in leadership. So many people in that class use to always go in circles trying to solve their problem. They spent more time talking/complaining about it rather than actually fixing it. Thats where some went wrong, you can't just talk it out and expect things to be ok later. When i got into a problem, i went straight to the person who was affected by it. I went straight to the person i knew that would help me not only solve it but learn from it. I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT IM SAYING, I'm literally just going off with whats on my mind. This blog use to be longer but i deleted a few parts. Ill just end this blog by saying, don't ever take advantage of this class. When Mr.Ing says you won't find a class like leadership.. he's right! And when he says that relationships in that class is important, he's right! Basically, he's right about almost everything lol its important to have a good one with everybody in that class, but when you gain trust and get into the inside of someones circle the relationship is so much better! You end looking forward to something, instead of just looking forward to doing a job with your group, its like you get to look forward to learning/having fun with friends! I can't explain it, I'm just happy with the memories i made with the small group of 4 i had in that class(:

Week 37

Well im bout to go to a hotel yeee! but anyway this was such a depressing week for me. like its a little awkward from that meeting, well not awkward its just i was more uncomfortable bc i think ppl still talked shit. i THINK. k.well period 1, in math im doing s good job, ive brought up grades and their looking good hahaha, period 2, well like i been isolating myself ever since the meeting bc of how unwanted i feel with them now. period 3, in social studies we frickin are doing comprises again! im so bad in social studies, like whats even the point of it, i dont understand anything in that class bro. period 4, english, well like we recently presented our speech, and next class were gonna start making a speech about teenage problems and im so ready for that one, i  think imma be good with that speech bc im a teen with choke problems HAHAHA. period 5, in PE. thank god were starting soccer, you guys might see me sweaty more often after period 3, but thats cause were playing soccer and i dont think you guys know how much i love that sport, soccer gives me life yo.period 6, we took HSA. and i have NEVER ever passed my HSA. it hsa never reached 300, well i got 283, which is worse bc my highest was 290, lol oops.

Highlight for the week was well going to this hotel is pretty killahhhss, like im so excited. we never really do go to these kinds of things because my mom kills joy and she always says no to things, ahhaha. my lowlight was this whole during the night, because every night i keep thinking about my ex ugh, and like i know were all young and stuff, i but like i frickin miss him darnitt.

Lesson learned, dont expect too much. Just when you think people actually like you, you never know how fake they can be bc they might say youre cool and they wanna be friends with ya, but little do you know, that he/she is actually talking shit bout you  hahahha. whatevs tho dude.

love yourself first ❥

i think a lot of people wonder why my bio in EVERY social media is " love yourself first. " this is my favorite quote, its been my favorite since i was i 4th grade. i love it so much because im so insecure about myself, the quote kinda helps me. i mean, i still havent learned to love myself .. yet! today, yesterday, last week, last month, this whole semester isnt working out for me. it really dosent help if people are gonna talk shit. i mean, who dosent talk shit about others? but im only saying this because people say things, when they dont know the whole story. i hope everyone has a better perspective of things now, and that people learned about what the meeting was about today. yeah, i laugh, talk A LOT, and i jump around all happy in front of all of you, but deep down, im so ashamed of walking into A101 without thinking that all of you hate me, and always will hate me. I dont think ive walked in to A101 atleast once knowing im wanted, i feel very unwanted by all of you. and dont disagree with me because i know how annoying i am and when you guys see me walk in you guys are probably like " oh here the loud irritating bitch again " and i totally get why you would say that, yes im loud, irritating, and the rudest bitch in the room. its my personality lol. well, the feeling of being unwanted is pretty hard, i know youve all felt that way. maybe to some of you, youve felt this way. youve felt unwanted because 1 person talks shit behind your back, but imagine your homeroom talking shit about you? i dont think you guys could argue with me about this because someone from leadership(im not gonna say who) told me that when me, korey or laila isnt around you guys talk shit about us, sucks right? your whole homeroom is against you? for me, i love period 2. i tell them my problems and i even told mr ing, i told him that i look up to period 2, and that one day when i was crying i asked him if i could go next door because i cant stand seeing period 2 see me crying, but there rlly was no difference, because i know for a damn fact, half of you didnt give a fuck about what happen, or how i feel. I CANT EVEN WALK INTO THE ROOM WITHOUT THINKING THAT ALL OF YOU HATE ME. isnt there someting frickin wrong with that!? I DONT THINK YOU GUYS RLLY UNDERSTAND THE MEETING WE HAD TODAY RLLY MEANT. it really frickin irritates me, that im still gonna walk into A101 tomorrow thinking you all hate me, and that you all are still gonna talk shit about me. whats even the point of coming to school tomorrow, i ask my mom if she can let em trasnfer schools AGAIN because i feel so unwanted in that room, i love running away from my problems, i love letting people get to me, i know i bitch at all of you, i know i offend you guys a lot, but i always joke around that way and you should know i never really mean to hurt you. is it wrong that id rlly like to self harm myself because of knowing that all of you make me feel like i dont belong in there, im not saying im gonna cut myself or anything, but i feel like i have to, and if i do, you guys wont care, you guys are probably just gonna be like " aw dont do that " and shit but its not like you mean it. DO ALL OF YOU MIND ATLEAST FRICKIN APOLOGIZING FOR TALKING SHIT? i know this isnt sincere, and im not planning for it to be, i dont want it to be, because i find it really frickin rude that none of you had the balls to apologize about things youve guys said about me/us. it would help if you guys actually found out the real story behind things before talking shit, it would help if you guys asked mr.ing why he  favors us before talking shit. MAYBE IF YOU GUYS TOOK THE TIME TO ACTUAL CREATE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM YOU WOULD BE FAVORED ALSO. instead of talking shit, wondering why you guys dont get favored by mr ing is to find a way to be close with him. We are favored because we took the time to build a relationship with him. shit dosent come to us easy, in fact us 3 gets in trouble for things. i get in trouble too, you guys dont know the problems i put myself into. and this is just how i feel, this isnt to offend any of you. i just ugh. its hard okay? i dont even love myself, im so insecure about myself, and it really dosent frickin help if i KNOW my classmates talk shit, it makes me hate myself instead of learning to love myself. talking shit is easy for all of you, its easy for me, but i end up telling that person anyway. it was so easy for most of you to talk shit, but when you guys were put on the spot, mr.ing gave all of you a chance to say shit you guys say in front of us, whats wrong with that? isnt it better that us 3 know what kinda shit is being tossed around about us in class? i think we deserve to know. soo learn the whole story before you start shit. it really fucking hurts me and i dont think anyone cares about that. That there are 17-18 people in the room against you. im not saying you guys should apologize but it just hurt me that everyone left the table like that. im 100% sure some of you left the table with things in your head that yoou woouldve wanted to say, or talk about to others. i know some of you shared your thoughts to eachother after the meeting, but yeno what? im gonna walk in to class, and im gonna care about what you say, but im gonna be happy and not show any of you how i rlly feel. i think its better that ppl think i dont care about what you say, i mean yeah it hurts me, but why should i show it? there really is no difference, you wouldnt care. no one does, because everyone in leadership is heartless, im calling myself heartless also, so dont be offended lol. well ya, for someone whos still tryna learn how to lover herself, it dosent help if her surroundings make her hate herself even more.

2014 banquet ღ

w0www its been 2 months .. and i still miss my ex. haha, today i was at a party and i saw him ugh. so my weeeek., hmm. in period 1, math; i still hate bertrand, i mean like he called me 4th grader!? like um okay, f u. but were learnign about slopes & like y-intercepts and stuff like that. in period 2, leadership; well like we had to defend our boardsssss and stuffysss, basically all we did(x LOL. i think? idks i dont remember really. in period 3, socil studies; well i gotta finish up my essay still and i guess i never really took the time to finish it bc im a lazy axx person but i really gottta do it bc my grades gon drop to an F. haah. in period 4, engglish; we had to makes drafts for our darfur speech, its really easy tho. im done, and on tuesday we have to present it! ahhhhh! okay period 5, pe; well like we started on soccer! and for sure im gonna love coming to pe now bc i love soccer so much. in period 6, science; we learned about galaxies, so we had to make a foldable and we took a test. when we took the test, when i was tunring in my work, my friend told me my answer was wrong and mrs.seigaku caught us erasing our papers and i had to throw my test away not her! like wtf!!

My highlight fort he week has to be banquet! i loved banquet so much, i had loads of fun. although i had to work, that was fun too. being in charge and help set up the banquet was fun, plus mr.ing did me and lailas hair before banquet, surprisingly. lolol. my lowlight is off topic but i miss my ex heh.

Lesson learned is to have fun! events like banquet made me really happy, and i guess what i mean for my lesson is to be happy with your friends and enjoy etc ya hahah okay bye

Personal Display Board ✿

So we had a personal display board to do, and basically we needed to put 10 items on the board that was important to you, but it had to relevant to leadership. Well last period 2, and today during period 2 we had to defend our personal display boards, its like mr.ing asks us questions about our board and we gotta answer them, but yeaaah. On my board, i had an acceptance letter, something about what happens in leadership, one of my blogs about transformation, my honor roll certificate, papers from planning out ISA, my name tag and a letter from mr.ing.

Highlight for this display board was throwing myself off looking for things that has to do with leadership, i was literally searching my room for things lol, but while tryna find things for my board, i found so much other things from last year and it made me smile yeno, the memories, i couldnt add them to my board bc they werent really something thats important but yeah. lowlight is obviously not finishing up my board, i know it isnt fair but i guess i just never find the time to go to a102 and take my board back home to finish it, wow i suck dont i. LOL.

Lesson from this assignment i dont really know, but i guess looking back makes you remember a lot of things, like the first time we defended our boards mr.ing asked me about my honor roll .. he asked why it was important to me and i remember saying something like " i know i can actually reach 3.5 " as my gpa, and stuff and i guess it was just really good to hear that come out of my mouth bc lately ive been giving up.

ill post better pictures tomorrow!

im bad at this

wow, i slack the loads yo. like, im so late and i had this morning to do this but i dont know man. too much on my mind probably. idk but ive been such a sad human lately, what a surprise!(not really) i mean, i asked my parents to give me a therapist i dont think they knew how serious i was being. like, i got school stress, family stress, friends stress. and my family is i dont even know. they stress me out, sometimes i just wanna die or run away, i mean i could run away, ive done it millions of times, lol. but i guess lately theyve been bringing up my REAL dad and i pretty much hate him but hes been tryna call me but i always reject it and they force me to answer his calls but hes rejected me my whole life, i dont get why he thinks im okay to answer him now, he dosent even support me and im literally crying making this blog rn lmfao. but anyway, i guess im just mad that he has never supported my growing up, even with the distance he could try atleast sending some money, or calling me on holidays to greet me, i used to call him and greet him when i was little, i used to wait for him .. thinking hes gonna come see me, but i guess i grew up learning to hate him more and more each day when i finally realized he wont come and see me, and this is basically what i always think of every night now, i know im not the only one that goes through this or feels this way.. but all i want was my father watching me graduate highschool, walk down the aisle when i get married, etc... other than that, theres been a problem in leadership and now im so shame to walk into the room .. or just even existing in that class im ashamed. i know i shouldnt feel awkward in the class, but i do now bc i feel like im doing EVERYTHING wrong. i mean i always feel like i do things wrong, but im dead serious about me not wanting to walk in to a101 bc of how ashamed i am. i even asked my mom to transfer schools lol. i know what im doing is wrong, im tryna run away from my problems, and that isnt an answer but i just feel super ashamed about whats going to happen next, like i think i just ruined someones feelings, and like a bitchy person i am, i actually care about peoples feelings when i see how much it hurts them, ugh. friends .. i dont know anymore. i feel like i betray them sometimes, like i drift from people a lot. and it kinda sucks man. like at pride for ewa, i hung out with a group of friends i havent hung out with in a long time! i missed them all so much man ;( they were my clique in 7th grade hahaha, well yeah, in class i been slacking .. surprise again? not really, i always slack, but this time im not really trying, too much are on my mind during class! i dont know why i cant just push everything outta my mind and put school first, but somehow i only think of the negatives thats going on in my life right now! hahaaha, i gotta get my feelings and life together.

Surprisingly i have a highlight for this week ... my highlight has to be career day! i learned so much, it was a coincidence for me to get a pyschologist because thats actually what i would like to be. id like to help people with their problems when i grow up, only because i feel like ive been though enough that i think i can help people with my own experience. during the 2nd session,  had to tell a story, beginning, middle and an end. before i told my story, i had to say that my story was no where near positive and it dosent have an ending to it. the story i talked about was a girl, who was trapped because there were too many negative things around here, and shes struggling to get to the positive side, where everyone can be happy, and i dont wanna go in detail bc i might just wanna cry, i mean im already crying right now bc my dad keeps tryna call me and im like rejecting it lol, but ya. but another highlight is that i got my banquet dress lolk. my lowlight is probably skipping 2 days of school bc now im way back lol.

Lesson learned, dont forget the difference between your & you're.

practice makes perfect

John doee i just want the john i knowwww! ~~~ LOL thats like my favorite song, well i like the song all in my head from tori kelly its so beast. so this week was full of excitements, sooo on friday, me, laila, korey and mr.ing went to waikele and pearl ridge to buy crowns & tiaras for banquet lol, then we went to fishers to buy banner paper but we failed because it wasnt even there, then we went to paina cafe to eat some bowls!(literally) im joking lol, we ate spicy ahi bowls and stuffyssss. then after we went to the movies to go watch oculus which was not scary at all it basically confuses you to death, then we went to bubbies homemade icecream and it was such a fun day, hopefully we do that again. on saturdayy we had our track meet, i wasnt even prepared for this but like idk, atleast i placed in something. but on my first 400 i did so bad lol, like i dont think i started fast enough and on one of my turns, i did something stupid and turned around and turning around, i saw that i was almost last place and i just thought i should just give up already and towards the end i wasnt even giving it my best already, i thought i was last place but come to find there were 2 more people after me lol woohoo, well after i finished my race i was so mad at myself and i felt like crying but i didnt want to and i had so much anger in me, so i told myself that i better do good on my 4x400, well i did bad because i didnt practice for my race and i totally blame myself for all of this, i ate so much after tho lol, well we placed 3rd on our 4x400, which is good enough for me bc before the race we all planned that we should try being 3rd place hahaha, um today i went to waikele to shop and i got this cute cardigan and i even got and cute tribal crop top, soo yay.

My highlight for this week was on friday, getting to spend a lot of time with mr,ing, korey and laila, i think we shouldve all took one step more into the circle and comfortability, or whatever how you say that hahaha, eating at paina cafe, going movies, and the talks we had in the car on our way home was so funny, we all laughed, especially me, i mean i was spitting on mr.ing the whole time but its okay lol. another highlight for my week was yesterday at the track meet, i had so much fun even tho i wasnt really satisfied with the places i was put in. atleast its the end and now i get my afterschool time free again hahaha but yeaah. another highlight was after mr.ing dropped off me korey and laila we grabbbed my blankets went to the park and had our own fashion show which we called " khrizzella " just like coachella haha, our imaginations were wild.
my last highlight is getting janoskis (:

Lesson for this week, practice makes perfect? lol idk, but i think i wouldve done waay waay better at the track meet with my 400's if i just practiced more, i mean lately ive been getting picked up or i would just sit down on the side and watch everyone practice, plus whenever i do go out to practice, i practice 100's and when i practice my 400's i dont take them serious and i just give up, like i really love running but i guess it gets tiring when you HAVE to run, id rather just run when i want to and like not too hard running kind

Week 32 ❥

helllooo bloggers! sooooooooo like school is such a drag! im having a sleepover with laila and korey right now so ya lol im probably just gonna rush through this blog, this whole day we were outside, having some yolo moments, ya feel? soooo imma talk bout school ugh. period 1 in math, were learning about slopes, like positive, negative, undefined, and zero, which i dont pay attention so i dont even know what its about or how to do it, ugh idk im just dumb.period 2, well we started on our personal display boards, and i hope mines turns out nice, like i honestly dont know what im suppose to put and stuff. period 3, social studies, well we had a vocabulary quiz that everyone literally did bad on but i bombed it so bad omfg, so shame man. period 4, english. in english were learning about the holocaust and i actually know a lot about it except im not interested in learning about it. period 5, well i dont think i even went to period 5 this whole week, hahahaha, it always seems like when me and korey dont go to pe then they do fun things! period 6, well were still learning about planets, and we recently went out to the courtyard and had an ' experiment ' like as if we could tell how far all the planets are compared to eachother.

my highlight of the week was yesterday bc i was laughing and making loads of trouble to mr.ing, like i marked him with the pen, poked his face, and when we were out at track, i was laughing hard and when i sat down, i guess my butt missed the seat? so i almsot fell backwards and i reached my hands out to mr ing as if  i was gonna grab him, but i ended up getting up, and we both got scared and it was just really funny, another highlight is today/tonight bc me korey and laila didnt have a sleepover in a long time so its like we reunited i guess, not really but yeahhhh. and like me and my cousin and josiah and laila and korey were having so much fun outside playing ninja and hide and seek, and we all just played around, and im having fun! Ayyyyy, no low lights this week :) ... that i would like to share.

lesson learned, you are drama! youre drama if youre doing something that stops you from what you HAVE to do, something you gotta do that is important. so if youre doing what youre suppose to and some thing you probably say, someone that comes to mind and it involves problems its DRAMA. so stfu bc youre drama1(x ahahhahaha

You got a friend in me ✿

Practice, practice, and more practice! Is this why Orientation turned out pretty good? I say yes! Although we did make a few mistakes,  but overall i think orientation was good. I think speaking couldve been done better, i mean i wasnt in their spot so i would know how hard it was for them, but during practices i think they did good, and on the first day things were kinda funny but heyyyy its okay! The tour, i think was pretty good, i feel like i rushed a little, i mean i wasnt rushing or anything, but i was the first to come back and finished the tour so it made me think i went too fast, so on the second day i tried taking my time lol. Coming back for the fashion show, i messed up so bad on the first day, i didnt realize april's mic was off when the fashion show started, and i didnt know she was looking at me and tryna signal me to say that her mic was off, until i finally realized " oh hey, why isnt april starting? " i looked up and saw that the song was already on 18 seconds, and so i turned the channel on lol, then just in time, april speaked everything perfectly fine. so wheww, thank you jesus. i learned my lesson, so i made sure everything was fine on the second day.

my highlight for orientation has to be backstage! i mean, i know we shouldnt have played around that much but it was so cute & funny, we all got pretty close, like we closed the door, turned off the lights, huddled around each other and just kept saying " bloody mary " or " candy man " and we would all just laugh when people jumped up a little, there a part when i was on the stairs and april shook the door, so i pretended like i was running up the stairs to make sheila scared but then i hit my back and now i have 2 cuts and a bruise on my back bc of the stupid railing! LOL. my lowlight for orientation is probably not being able to dance with pd 2 during part of your world, like i guess its okay, but dancing with them wouldve been better.

lesson learned, practice makes perfect! lets get real here, we all heard this one before, but you dont practice as much as we did for orientation. we practice EVERYDAY, EVERY lunch. and this is what got us do so good, like imagine if we didnt practice? orientation would be so ugly. lol ya k.

changing without even trying?

so, i dont know if you all noticed but ive changed a lot lately. and i havent tried changing myself purposely but people are telling me that ive changed. it kinda sucks, because i was just getting better with a few things, and then i just changed to the way things shouldnt be and i really messed a lot of things up. whale, this past week ive been feeling pretty insecure around the nights before i sleep and i just think of all my flaws, its kinda messing me up a little, i dont usually think about how ugly i am very often, i mean i think of them but i havent really cried about them every night but now its becoming a routine, and over thinking has been taking more on my mind than being myself, but its whatevers because during the day i just gotta suck it up and make sure nothings wrong. isnt everyone like that? im not doing a goodjob of trying to act normal but idk, you cant help someone who hates theirself. so as much as i hate my step dads guts, ive been forced to ignore him. its pretty hard tryna avoid someone you live with. he usually gives me advice, or sometimes hes the reason why i need advice from others, i dont know whats up with my relationship between me and my family, like me and my mom, we got into a fight in november about aborting me and oh god ever since that happened things arent the same and ive been starting to hate her a little more each and every day, me and my grandparents, well ive began to disrespect them nowa days  i dont know why, i guess im just frustrated at how my family ended up being, and then me and my step cant have one conversation without a fight or one of us yelling at eachother, so yeah, not only am i ruining my relatioship with my family, but im also ruining my relationship with mr.ing, i mean im not trying to but i guess im just messing up, i dont know how to fix things, im not good at that, im  talented at creating problems, but i dont know how to fix problems. sorry for having such a negative summary, but im pretty sad right now and i have a lot on me, my mom has my phone bc i made a tantrum about how she dosent buy me food lol. but whatevs, im feeling super super insecure right now, i dont really know what to talk about besides everything ive been doing wrong this whole week, or just how ive been being lately, i mean ive always been insecure but now im only focused at the problems ive caused and how messed up ive made my life, i mean i have a long way to go still but it kinda sucks that i already know how messed up i made my life become at this age, and none of you guys could text me saying my life isnt ruined because my grandma reminds me everyday whenever i get too close to my stedad, gosshh so much problems. plus i still miss my ex, like lets all get real here and take the moment to say that we are all still young to know about love and relationships, but i really miss my ex, i mean we kinda did a lot with eachother for just being young at this age, he was kinda the one i looked forward to and the reason to why im always so happy, and i think you could say after the day we broke up A LOT changed. i got a lot more sad, and i keep a lot of sad quotes about love on my camera roll, like i aint the type to even take love serious, like i have never cried over love, NEVER. im gonna say that i consider only dating 3 guys, and after 2 of the breakups ive had with the others i didnt cry, but this recent one really got me, im still tryna recover with things bc right now at this moment hes really happy with his new girl, i mean .. we wouldve been a year and few months and how could he just lose that much feelings for a girl he dosent even talk to that much? goddd, im really frustrated, and i need my phone.

lowlight for this week is definitely upsetting mr.ing this week, i didnt mean to change things between us and just when things get good i seem to find a way to mess up and gosh i dont know.a highlight is korey getting her laptop charger bc now we can get back to oovooing. another highlight is probably track because i havent been going lately but im kinda doing good. um, honestly i love running, i have a passion for running but because of having track EVERYDAY it kinda made my lose my passion for running, track is important and i plan on winning our meet, but sometimes i kinda miss being free to go out with my friends bc i havent  seen them lately, what if they forget about me, i mean they always do, but i just dont wanna be the one person they forget about and they cant rely on me anymore, ya feel?

lesson learned, i dont really know about my lesson learned, like i made problems this whole week, and yes i know i should say ive learned from them but i feel like im only gonna make mistakes again this up coming week only bc of my attitude to things lately and just how i feel the night before school and idk, im really frustrated at how ive made things, i cant function. plus if you follow me on twitter you would see how much ive piled up with all the sad pictures, sad tweets, and i cant help but post them bc it helps me relieve the stress and sadness all built up in me.

khrizzz whats up with ya

helloooo (: sooo, this whole weekend my family decides we gotta spend some family time and like ew lol. like, since when did they ever wanna act like a family!?(x hahaha, makes me laugh. i know for a damn fact, ill make sure my family will be a family and not full of fights.but anyway, i went to polynesian cultural center yesterday and i had so much fun, except we woke up early, and we got there at like 12 and ugh we basically spent the WHOLE day there because we had dinner and we even watched a show till like 10, got home around 11, and because of my insomnia i slept at 3 in the fudging morning, then SADLY we had to wake up early again because we went to all go eat breakfast as a whole family,then we went to pearl harbor and then we went to Cajun King to eat early dinner, then right this moment were going to waikiki to walk down the strip. If were talking bout school stuff then idk, like im kinda off yeno. still off from 2nd & 3rd quarter and i feel like im gonna stay this way this quarter and im afraid i wont get honor roll again, i dont think people understand or anyone understands that it meant a lot for me to get honor roll, im not a very smart person and im not the type of person who would be proud of the things i do, and 1st quarter would probably be the one and only time i will ever feel proud of myself.

my highlight for this week was i guess actually spending time with my family, i mean im not that used to it because we really dont do these kinds of things, we arent all that close but yeah, i guess a lot of our relationships got stronger. a lowlight was not getting to go track this whole week, like ok so on monday idk, i just took a break i guess, and my knees were small kine sore, but i had to be picked up early anyway, then on tuesday i had a doctors appointment, on thursday i went to track and it sucksss because i did soooo bad, i ran super slow and ya ugh why.

lesson learned for this week is .. idk i made so much mistakes this past week, like i have no idea. i created a lot of problems without trying, like ugh. so lesson learned is to be more cautious of what youre doing bc you might create a problem that was never there ya k.n

ITS FINALLY SPRING BREAK!

Ugh, yes! Finally a week off!!! right now im in the middle of editing a youtbe video me and korey made a few months ago, and idk its taking forever to upload on youtube now so might as well start on my bloggg right? Dude i seriously just had to close down to twitter because its distracting me from doing my blog lol. twitter is life dude, like i need twitter. twitter is like my diary, i mean i really dont mind what i tweet and how much i tweet bc i tweet a lot about how i feel, or when i get irritated of someone so i tweet about them. i have no idea dude, but like sometimes i cant tweet about a certain person because they follow me and that just kills my vibe, thanks to twitter for being my best friend hahaha, i mean idk what to talk about, but im ending the quarter with like a 2.8 again, or a 3.0 and i need to get to 3.5 again, im so mad. like ya its my fault for not doing my work, and getting off track, but tbh its hard for me bc idk im sort of dumb so i dont understand anything in math and social studies. but im dead serious about 4th quarter that im gonna actually ser myself to get honor roll again bc nothing made me happier than getting honor roll. it actually meant a lot for me because i didnt know i had that in me, i didnt know i actually could get up to a 3.5 avergae gpa.

Highlight for this week has to be the track meet! i ran 400 and placed 3rd place, kinda sucks but heyyyy thats fine, atleast i placed in the ones that count which is 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place! I even ran the medley, the medley is 100, 100, 200 & 400. Mady started off the race with a 100, then Amaya did the other 100, and Ciello did the 200, and i ended the race with a 400! Thank god we placed in 1st place and that was soo exciting and i was really proud of myself after that bc it actually takes a lot for me to feel proud of myself lol, another highlight was the lunch on wednesday with Laila, Mr.Ing and Korey, we went out to kapolei to eat and we had a lot of laughs on the ride there and the ride back.

Lesson learned is to believe in yourself, at the track meet i kept telling myself that i would lose and i wouldnt place anything, and i thought i might walk during the race and all the negative thoughts kept going through my head. But when i started my race, i put everything aside, and Mr.Ing kept saying to run MY race, and as i ran i only thought of getting to the finish line, i didnt really think of beating anyone, so i placed 3rd, and on medley i placed 1st. ahaha, its actually really amazing with what your mind comes into play.

Bye Guys! Have great spring break! Im going to Maui, cheee!

... 75/100 ... loading.

Hi guys! ... youre not a guy. youre  HOT CHICK!(X hahahahhaa. okay sorry lol, what a quarter huh? so much things happend, like i cant even keep up. dude this quarter had so much ups & downs! Like idk, but this past quarter i think i grew a strong relationship with a few people, and thats pretty good, but also i lost some people on the way .. dude. I just realized how close it is for graduation, i mean we graduate in about 3 months, i dont know if im ready(x like wat. 3 months maan, WHAT IF I FAIL. lol jk, but im really excited, but i dont even know what highschool to go, what clubs and sports i wanna join, or like what i even plan to be when i grow up .. but ya, gotta start thinking. i mean, i wanna be a lawyer, but i dont have the grades to be a lawyer. ya feel? and stufffys. Other than that, orientation is coming up too. Me & Asia still didnt finish banner, haha so shame. i dont even know what to talk about mannnnn. um i had a great time at track today. I ran a 400, and i placed 3rd place with a time of 1:19, and i guess thats pretty good because mr.ing kept telling that it was fast for me, like at practice my fastest would be around 1:30 and being about 10 seconds faster, thats kinda amazing(x lol. I think i did good for my medley though, that one was a tough race for me because the girl was right on my tail on the last turn and i kept thinking " im totally gonna lose this " but ayyyy, came in 1st place, chyaaah you. other than that, ewa makai won the track meet for 3 years in a row, and today was the day we finally cut them off and took the trophy home, yaaaaa girl. ok so yearbook this quarter was like woow. we got into loads of problems with yearbook man. its so sad, like i was yearbook last year and i guess i shouldve known A LITTLE that we shouldve started yearbook a long time ago, but ayyyy we finished! so this quarter was when me and my ex broke up, we broke up on our 11 months, and like ya im still young and shouldnt care and its not really a realy thing i guess, but idk it kinda hurt me and this last wednesday we couldve made a year, and it kinda sucks but i still stayed happy, like he moved on already because hes a player and he actually didnt give a flying fuck about me but what evsss ya feel?(x ahahh but ok sorry, i was thinking of him again dammit. stoooop khrizz.

my highlight of this quarter was the bond i created with mr.ing. like we had problems last year, between us since i was a dumb bitch. well, becuase of that, we fixed things by having breakfast every morning, and thanks to breakfast every morning we got closer and fixed our relationship! i actually had lots of highlights this quarter but i also had lots of low lights. like my highlights was a lot of laughing involved! i mean i laugh everyday, but i mean the laughs i have like with me and korey, i get more laughs with other people in leadership now but ayyyy, you cant compete with me and koreys inside jokes and funny level, its serious. like were talented at it, no joke dude.

lesson learned, well i learned a lot of things this quarter. like my main thing is to never let anyone stop you from doing what you gotta do, like when me and my ex broke up, i kinda just lost it and i gave up on a lot of things, like doing my work, and just keeping up with my friends, it was like to a point where i began to isolate myself and i just wanted to be alone all the time, and i started a lot of trouble after this happened to, i really dont know, i like seriously lost it. idk i have a lot of lesson learned but it all just comes to this. it all comes to not letting anyone take over you or stop you from doing what you gotta do. like, i even let some fake friends take over me. the ones who talk shit, make rumors, and just start drama with me that i never even get into anymore! woohoo. i let them take over me by making me cry, make me think different, and idk. they made me think things i shouldnt be thinking of, but ehhh whatevers. a last lesosn learned is when things are going good between you and someone, dont throw anything in there. ya feel me? like, dont create problems that dont have to be created yeno? i cant explain it but when things are going good between you and someone try keeping it that way and dont make anything bad happen purposely or not, keep things good and cleaaan(:

You got Spirit?

Monday: Sports Day

Tuesday: Inside Out

Wednesday: Hawaii 

Thursday: Military 

Friday: Team Color

Summary:
I honestly think that spirit week turned out pretty fun! We didnt seem to have any problems, so things went pretty smooth. I mean maybe if more people dressed out, like if the whole school dressed out then that wouldve been better spirit. So there was drama between 8-1 and 8-3 which sucked, i mean like it shouldnt have been a real problem but i could totally understand where it went wrong because of what 8-3 said to 8-1 and all. So ya, kinda messed up but who cares because we all end up becoming as one since were all one team, it was just a week of dressing out idk why 8-1 was all mad, they barely even dressed out, seriously, they are real dumb asses. I gotta shoot them.

Highlight:
My highliught for spirit week was seeing 8-3 come together, i found it really cute! Like they really did have a lot of spirit this week, i mean for penny wars, and canned goods they put in a lot of effort. Even for relay races they all came together as one team, they all cheered off their team mates, and i just really liked how they all supported each other because unlike the other teams, they seemed to not care or have any spirit at all.

New Activity:
A new activity i would want to add for spirit week would probably be a dance off or something, like at relay races, each team made a student come up, next year for spirit week there should be 1 boy and 1 girl from each team, and during recess they have a dance off.

New Dressout:
I would try do Crazy Hair Day! I mean this one is so easy, like seriously just come to school with your hair not combed and then thats perfect lol. I would think EVERYONE should do this day.

Other than that, spirit week ended being good. Something different i really wish we had done was for the whole school to dress out, like spirit week shouldve been a grade to students so they actually dress out.

Week 28

Omfg i just woke up and this is so late, damn. So like yesterday i had a wedding party and like it was so frustrating because everything went wrong, like setting up the tent was hard because it kept raining and the poles wouldnt stick up and then the food didnt even come yet until after all our guests came, then my step dad kept complaining about it, and then while we had problems with the party, we had family problems. Everyone was mad at eachother for a different reason, and we all got into a fight before we started to set up for the party, it sucks because the family got into a huge fight basically for me, and ya.. I think im catching up a little in my classes, i brought up my 2 F's into 2 high D's, yeah its still bad but atleast im imrpoving.. a little? i have no idea, but math is getting better, not the teacher but our homeworks hahahaha. I cant even concentrate right now, im in my room in the closet because my family is fighting in the living room, why cant they shut up. i feel like i shouldnt even exist, like im a big reason to why theyre fighting UGH. shoot me pls. why cant we be a happy familyy i mean, me and my mom are starting to get better, like somewhere around november, me and my mom and my step dad got into a big fight, and since 3 of us changed and everything got really messed up after, we dont even act like a normal family, i just want a break from this family drama and shit, AHHAHAH. i feel like im gonna fail social studies, its sooo hard! i mean, its probably easy if i just did my work, i mean i do my work but i dont understand it!

my highlight of this week was spirit week, i had a lot of fun with seeing the war between all the teams for penny wars haha, and cheer off was fun too! Even relay races, i enjoyed seeing the school cheering and all, like how loud they were was nice to hear because it sounded like everyone liked eachother LOL. Im pretty sure a lot of people enjoyed it too because thats what people was saying on twitter, also when korey announced the winner for spirit week was cool, i actually wanted 8-3 to win so ya hahaha, but on instagram preston posted a picture of 8-3 and his hashtags was #8-1down  #8-1loser #8-1what and he just made unneccesary hashtags that 8-1 upset, and then drama happened and ya LOL.

Lesson learned is to stop thinking about kayejhon(my ex) because he isnt worht it ahhahahahah, like forreals, im officially over him and ya. he took over me, made me feel sad about myself, and i realized he dosent even care so why should i, so ya im done with him because i have other people that actually make me happy. 

Week 27

Heeyyy hey bloggaaahs. how is you? okokokokok, im so late. Well i dont have my laptop right and im on my phoneeee bc im at a sleepover and ya lol. period 1 // math: we have been doing hsa this past week, and surprisingly i passed(x HAHAHA. i passed with a score of 304. how sad, but eh oh well, I PASSED OK. period 2 // leadership: in leadership, we did some things on banner, then i finished my yearbook paage, finally HAHA. period 3 // social studies: in social studies, were doing a story board of the westward expansion, which i am almost done with, and now we have ANOTHER 5 paragraph essay. we keep doing essays omfg, gonna cry. period 4 // english: so were doing an essay also, about banning e cigarettes. we basically been doing writings and all about debating and all, i actually like these kinds of writings because i like to debate since i always speak my mind and all, so this kind of writing is perfect for me.period 5 // pe: for last 2 weeks, we only been playing volleyball, its starting to get boring in pe tho, actually i have no idea, like i get really uncomfortable in pe because the 2 guys who USED TO liek me is in there, so then i dont really wanna participate in anything, but ya knwhateves(x period 6 // science: we learned about the inner and outer planets. it sucks for me bc everytime i have period 6, i keep forgetting my science notebook and we always take notes so ugh. WHY. 

my highlight for this week was basically this whole week! i been really happy this week & its been filled with so much laughter, like at school, afterschool i just laughed a lot this week!(x anthoer  highlight is right now, right now im at a sleepover at keelys house and we just finished swimming, yes at 11PM. We are crazy beasts. a lowlight for me was how i been havin no sleep, these past 2 past weeks i only sleep for about 3-5 hours then i get up and ready for school. whaat a draaag.

lesson learned has to be, get my shit together. i havent even finished my ar, soo disappointed and i still have 2 F's in math and social studies, like omfg shoot me now please. 

O2L 2.22.14

Hi guys! So this week was pretty terrible bc like i was so bipolar. i was all sad, and happy, then sad, then happy like wtf. plus, there were so many problems that were created this week. Like how we were suppose to do our dress-out days thing, ya we failed bc everyone didnt bring what they was suppose to, then me and asia never finish our banner, etc. I have been so out of it the past 2 weeks, like i havent even finished my AR goal for 2 weeks, and im missing 10 lesson from math, and i have an F in my social studies class and gazaaammmm, im losing mah self. I mean i could honestly say, my ex kinda fucked me upp HAHHAH. like w0w hes kinda the reason why i been sad, but its not normal of me to cry over things like this bc i just dont, like i have never cried over a boy until last weeek wednesday happened. In track, we ran 8 400's and that was such a drag like i was so tired, and it seems like we arent gonna have a track team bc yesterday only 13 people showed up for track like woe. thats a little cray. but maybe because it was a friday, but um ya, i think im getting a little faster but i now i have this nickname which is " k-rex " bc when i run, i run like a t-rex, and since my name starts with a k, its k-rex. LOL. i have no idea why im not improving with
my arm thing. Anyway, today i went to digi tour to go see o2l, and i had the time of my life, like there was a lot of screaming, and dancing, and crying. I cant even believe that it was real.

My highlight of this week has to today, because Sam, Connor, Kian and Ricky made eye contact with me and i just cried knowing that. Then, Lia Johnson touched my hand when she was singing, then  i got a picture with Shelby Waddell!!! Ugh, my life is complete. Words cant even explain how happy i am. Another highlight of my week was friday, so during lunch, me, laila and mr.ing were eating, and then i told mr.ing that there was something on his face, but there really wasnt, and he just kept feeling around for it hahhaha, then i finally told him i was joking(x A lowlight for this week was on thursday when i was sad literally the whole day of  school, like in homeroom i was crying bc i kept over thinking things, then in period 1, i just sat there being sad, and then in period 3, i just kept my head down acting like i was doing work when i wasnt, i was just being sad, then in period 5, i had the guts to pick myelf up and do some things atleast, then afterschool i was sad again HAHAHHAAH. i didnt even go track too(x umm, then when i got home that day i got to go pearls.

Lesson learned, dont let one thing that bothers you take over you, so recently i went through a break up, and i dont usually cry over boys but i did this time, and i let this destroy me.I couldnt even pay attention in class, all i could do was be sad, and idk dude. dont be like that

Does it matter to you?? Or Naw?

So in homeroom this morning, we had a discussion about being responsible, following rules, and delay gratification. Each group had a member go up to explain and talk about each topic. So now ill share what i think about these 3 topics.

Be Responsible
What i think being responsible means is the control of dealing with yourself, this means that you have the authority of your responsibilties, when someone gives you a task, its your responsibilty wether you wanna do it or not. For example, the simple task that was assigned to us 6 months ago, was to finish a yearbook page/spread. It was our responsibilty, we had control of ourselves. For those who arent even half way done, round of applause bc that shows how selfish you are. You had all the time to finish it, and im also referring to myself bc i didnt finish my page either, i mean all i have to do is add captions, but like a lazy selfish bitch i am, i didnt add any captions.

Following Rules
Following rules, is to do what your assigned to do. Most of the people in class obviously didnt do what they was suppose to. If we all just did what we were suppose to do, we wouldnt have all been in this mess that we all created. Its funny because the only time everyone does something is when Mr.Ing gets mad, its easier if we just do things right away so we dont worry bout them later.

Delay Grattification 
This means that when you do good deeds, you will get rewarded later. But it seems to me, that everyone is just waiting for a reward, and everyone is trying to give themselves a reward when they dont deserve it. Everyone dosent deserve it because they havent even made any success yet. The reward we are all giving ourselves is a break, we keep procrastinating that we dont realize how much work we arent doing and missing ... this really reminds me of math, hahaaha.

OK bye.

Its going down! Im yelling TIMBER!!

I hate myself, i mean like ive been ruining everything for myself lately. stupid khrizz. im losing myself again, damn. like my grades are dropping, and im literally losing my friends, and all that. anywayzzz, this week i had tv, and like the main thing we did was " *click* or naaaw. " LOL so ya... idks what to talk about. So ill talk about my peridos. Sooo, period 1, math. So in math, were like hopping around, were doing shapes, were doing ratios, then were doing pythagorean theorem and all, like wth. Period 2, hmmmm. we worked on banner, and i worked on my yb paage, and yeah. period 3, social studes, im like failing dude. im so out of my classes, were doing this think with the westward movement, and im meh, i have too much problems HAHHAHA. Period 4, im acrtually getting a good grade in this class, but uhh were doing an essay and my topic is about bullying, were kinda doing this perusading writing shizzz in class, idk how for explain. Perod 5, pe, whaale we lifted some weights, then on thursday we went out on the track field and i was sweating LOL. and then we played volleyball and it was so funnnnnn. Period 6, were learnign about tides, and eclipse and about the moon phases and all that good stuff. im really disappointed in myself bc i really gave up on a lot of tings, especially myself, so im trying to pick myself back bc i hate this, im getting back to what i was before, and you really dont wanna see that side of me, it wasnt good. yeeezooos. anywayyyy, track has been ok. like im not fast, but i like to run, and so hopefully i get faster and that kind fo shizzz, i bought my track shoes so im happy.

Yay track shoes!

Lowlight for me, was basically the whole week. I ruined everything for me, and me and my " boyfriend " made 11 months on wednesday then we broke up, so whatevsss i guess, idk thats kinda sad i guess, but im not gonna get into detail bc idc, and then  like on friday, things got really jacked up and it made me feel very unwanted in a101, and im losing a lot fo friends, but who cares right? another low light, is that i have 2 F's, 1 D and i didnt finish my AR or my yb page and im really messed up.

lesson learned, dont be sad and dont let people take over you. So like, i keep over thinkking with things, and im creating problems in my head that dosent even have to be there or shouldnt matter. and im making my own self sad, and before, like last year, i used to be a depressed person, and im hoping i dont get back at that bc i love being happy, so i cant. like what am i even doing to my self.

im dying!

this was totally not my week, its been none of my weeks these past weeks!! i got hives for the first time this week and like i dont even know, this aint cute, this is nasty af. but i have no idea why got it. i mean i might be stressing, like yearbook, bc i have these 4 freaking pages to finish! Thaaaanks a lot for not asking Mr.Ing if you guys can have your pages back! -.- yeezus. ok whatever, past is past. Atleast they took pictures for me. Another thing im stressing about is math, i mean its pretty much my fault for not doing the work, but its also my fault for being stupid and not having the knowledge to know any math, call me stupid. Probably more things, but if its stress, then thats what caused this. Maybe its the weather, i have no idea. Anyway, im really slacking in all of my classes, bc laziness and laziness. i dont know whats up with me, i was being a total  bitch this whole week! so track started and i love it!(x on the first day after track, i went to subway and ordered a sandwhich and salad, and holy cactus, you wouldnt believe how fast i even ate the salad, like wwwww0w. and then i got fudging hives, but i had hives since wednesday, so it cant be subwayyy (: ya ya. OOOOO, then for english we took our HSA and i got 325, oh yaaas hahahaha, happyyyy khrizzzzz. y u lie.

Highlight for this week is starting track for sure. I mean at first i was dying but i was pumped up after haha, i actually really love running its just im a lazy person hehe. We did, alot of running and on the first day my legs didnt hurt as much, but damn, yesterday after practice killed me, it was so hard for me to even sit down, and my legs were cramping and all that gross stuff! Well we did some sprinting yesterday towards the end of practice and it was so bomb!(x i felt good sprinting, hahaha. low light is having these ugly azz hives, yesterday was nasty, i had it all over my body, like on my face, my legs, my stomach, my back my neck, my arms, and even my hands! god sooo gross ;( i kept yelling im dying bc i was dying with these hives, like why do they even exist.

lesson learned, close the gate. LOL, so in track we were doing stretches and theres this stretch where we open the gate, and then we close them after, so i supposedly didnt close the gate so then my hip/butt/thigh hurt so frickin much! SO CLOSE DA GATE.